


Moon Phases

by SkylandMountain1013



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, LMD, Philinda - Freeform, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9796769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylandMountain1013/pseuds/SkylandMountain1013
Summary: Twice he’s considered grabbing Mack’s shotgun axe, taking Lola to Radcliffe’s last known whereabouts and shooting his way to answers. Gravity has enough of a hold on him that he knows it’ll do no good.Season 4. LMD arc. Angst ahoy. A few naughty words.





	

He feels like he is moving faster than the rest of the world. He hates the in between. In between missions. In between life and death. He thinks if he is not careful, he may careen out of the Earth’s orbit.

They know what the next step is. Aida. Aida leads to Radcliffe, Radcliffe leads to May.

It has been two days and there is no sign of her. No first step to take.

Twice he’s considered grabbing Mack’s shotgun axe, taking Lola to Radcliffe’s last known whereabouts and shooting his way to answers. Gravity has enough of a hold on him that he knows it’ll do no good. 

So he spins. Between briefings he paces the halls, his mind replaying the same sequence over and over. Awe to confusion to shock to anger.

He always ends up in the same spot- next to the LMD he couldn’t burn.

It’s stupid—he knows—to hold a vigil for a machine. But he thinks maybe, if he spends enough time, May will sense his presence.

He doesn’t think the technology works like that. But then again, he’s not sure how anything fucking works right now.

 

\--------------

“Sir?” 

His back screams at him as he tries to focus on his surroundings. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. Simmons is standing over him, giving a wary eye to the lifeless body on the gurney next to him.

“Are you alright?”

He rubs the grit out of his eyes and tries to command his knees to work. He’s getting too old for all of this.

“Yeah-“ he manages. He fumbles for an excuse—anything besides _my partner is missing and has been replaced with a robot and no one has the slightest fucking idea how to find her so sitting here just seemed like the best thing to do._

He tries weakly, “I figured someone needed to be on killer robot watch.”

Simmons brightens instinctively, happy to have an answer for him. “Oh! Fitz disabled the controller and power up mechanism. No LMDs are being powered up here without quite the mechanical intervention.”

“Well. Okay then.”

He watches the comprehension dawn on her face. “That’s not why you’re here.”

“No.” He’s too damn tired to lie.

Simmons musters all the positivity she can. “We are going to find her, sir. I know it.”

There’s a pillow and a blanket there later that night, and a cup of coffee waiting in the morning.

\----------

Coulson paces the lab, picks up files, puts them down.

Fitz doesn’t say much to him.

He’s not sure what he wants to hear. But it would be nice if someone actually talked. Three days and everyone is still moving in slow motion. He fiddles with a switch. He’d rather not think about where it came from.

Fitz breaks the silence. “I don’t think she’s hurt. The real May. Not the.. not May.”

He puts the machinery down and gives the younger man his full attention.

He continues. “The program was made for training purposes. Controlled environment. She may feel pain, but there’s no actual damage being sustained.” 

“Comforting.”

When he speaks again, Fitz is much quieter. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. The LMD program was intended to save Agents. Keep our friends out of harms way.” He buries his head in his hands.

“This wasn’t you. You didn’t do this.”

“Yeah,” he sniffs, and shakes his head to regain composure. “Jemma said I’m supposed to ask you if you’ve eaten today.”

“I’m fine.”

Fitz nods and turns back to his computer.

\------

“That shouldn’t be here.”

He looks up from another set of dead end leads to see Mack leaning against the doorframe. He nods towards the gurney. “It should be with the rest. Nothing but ashes.”

“Not an option.” Coulson reflexively shifts to block the LMD. He knows he should separate them in his brain. This is not May. It will never be May.

He is not there yet. 

Mack moves closer. “No good can come of keeping it here. If someone powers it back on, there’s no telling what programming might be uploaded by Radcliffe.” He pulls the sheet over the machine’s face. 

“That’s enough, Agent Mackenzie.” He forces himself to breathe, to stay calm. He hears May in his head, telling him to stay the course. “No one is going to power her back on.”

“She? This is a machine, Coulson. A robot. We don’t know where Agent May is. She could be-“

“I said that’s _ENOUGH!_ ” He snaps. He doesn’t realize it until he’s got Mack pinned against the wall, one hand on his chest and his robotic one squeezing the brick behind him so hard it begins to crumble.

The larger man doesn’t flinch, and it brings Coulson back to reality. He drops immediately and takes a step back. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“It’s alright.” Mack moves past him, placing a hand on his shoulder as he does.

Coulson goes to pick up the files strewn about the hallway. He doesn’t move the sheet.

\-------------

 Daisy slides down beside him and offers a bottle. “Friday. Drinks on me.”

The beer tastes good and feels even better. There’s a hard aftertaste of guilt though. He doesn’t think he deserves any pleasure—no matter how small—after the events of the week.

“You know she’s going to kick your ass when she finds out how mopey you were through this whole thing.”

He gives a mirthless laugh and takes another swig. “May doesn’t need an excuse to kick my ass.”

“So, how long has it been?”

He closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall. He’s gotten good at giving this speech—God knows he’s had to do it more in the last week than he has in the past decade. “It’s not what you think. A member of the team has gone missing and proper protocol is to exhaust all avenues to-“

“Simmons says you’ve been sleeping here. On the floor.”

“-anyone would do the same for any member of this team.”

“ _Coulson._ ” She knocks him on the knee with her empty bottle to break his pattern.

He sighs and turns her way. “Fifteen years? Give or take a few months?”

If Daisy is surprised, she doesn’t show it. He doesn’t think she is surprised.

"I kissed her, you know. I had no idea."

Her eyes go wide. " _No._ When?"

"About 5 seconds before she pulled a gun on me and professed her loyalty to our robot overlords." He forces the remainder of the beer down and tosses the bottle across the hall. It lands next to the trashcan with a defiant thud.

"Wow. That's going to be one hell of a conversation."

"You're telling me."

They both get quiet. He can’t get the machine’s words out of his head- that her feelings and desires were May’s feelings and desires. He thinks he would like to believe that. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to think.

“When I was in the 4th grade,” he starts, “my teacher made us all get up, and spin around in circles as fast as we could for 30 seconds. When we all managed to sit back down, she told us how that’s what it would be like if the moon went away. The Earth’s rotation would speed up just enough to prevent life from going on as normal. And you maybe wouldn’t notice at first. But eventually it would all catch up to you.”

“That’s quite the hands on science approach.”

He looks at an indeterminate point on the wall. “I have no idea why that popped into my head just now.”

Daisy shifts so their shoulders are touching. He welcomes the camaraderie. “The moon can’t exist without the Earth and the Earth can’t exist without the moon.”

He wishes he had another beer. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“You’re going to save her.”

They sit quietly through the night.


End file.
